Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Things My Grammar Taught Me

A repost from March, 2008, from my Myspace blog. Easily translatable for Facebook, for the most part. Enjoy! :)

Things my Grammar taught me...
Current mood: cultured

I know that, lately, I've been popping in on Myspace very sporadically and not really spending too much time here. So, last night, I blew off all the stuff I SHOULD have been doing (which, you know, I so RARELY do!), and I "hung out" here looking at my friends' updates and pictures, reading blogs, and marvelling at the throng of strange people (some I know, some I don't) who have requested me since they put my t-shirt picture up on the Morning Fix page.

And wow...there is nothing like a prolonged experience within the surging masses of "normal folks" that makes a person really appreciate the benefits of A) an English education and B) a job in editing.

Now, I don't typically go around correcting people's grammar and such (because, really--who has the time?) online. I do understand that it's a fairly informal medium, where people should be able to just write the way they speak, but receiving an email from "Bootyman"--who says he's from Naperville and makes 80-100K being "self-employed"--that says, "What's up, sexy. I like ur pic's, your hot" just drove the point too far home. I'm pretty sure this guy speaks EXACTLY the way he writes, and I'm probably not the first girl to NOT be all that impressed.

So, having spent a year or two teaching people who would rather be anywhere else but in my class some of the finer points of writing like a grown-up, I've decided to pass a quick 5 points on to those unfortunate enough to visit my silly blog in the hopes of finding something insightful or, at the very least, entertaining.

Top 5 Annoying Grammatical Errors Typically Found on Myspace (or, "How NOT to look retarded in front of pretty much the whole world"):

5) Textspeak. Come on, people, I get it when you are sending text messages and you either have to conserve space or or your thumbs. But when you have a whole computer in front of you, with a full QWERTY keyboard, it's just annoying.

4) When to use "I" vs when to use "me." - I promise you, sometimes "me" is the correct way to refer to yourself. For example, when you caption those pictures, folks, you are most often going to refer to yourself as an object: "Kari, Donella, and ME at Duran Duran last fall," NOT "Kari, Donella, and I..." Not sure? Take the rest of the people out and insert the implied subject: "This (subject) is a picture of ME (object) at Duran Duran last fall." You wouldn't say, "...a picture of I..."
3) Let's spell it together, people: D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y. How to remember this? The word "finite" is smack in the middle. I know millionaires who get this wrong, and it makes them look uneducated.

2) The word "YOUR" is possessive; it does not mean "you are": "I like your (the ones that belong to you) shoes." The word "YOU'RE" is a contraction of the words "YOU" and "ARE": "You're (you are) a complete dork."

1) Using an apostrophe also indicates possession, NEVER a plural: "Kari's (the ones belonging to her) shoes." It also makes a contraction of a noun + IS: "It's (it is) lame to hang out on Myspace when you should be sleeping." It is NOT used to make a word plural (more than one): "I have lots of pic's on my page" is incorrect.

So there you go, folks. Go forth and use your newfound grammatical prowess with style. And no...you're not getting credit for this, unless you count the warm, fuzzy feeling you'll get when you confidently place your apostrophes and when all the cute chicks on Myspace are awed and amazed at yer perfick grahmarr.

And hey...for the record, I never proofread my own work...:P

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Public Service Announcement

I might not be the only thing on his mind, Sunshine, but I guarantee you aren't either. Get over yourself and leave me the hell alone.

(We now return you to your regularly scheduled silliness.)


Monday, December 21, 2009

July - November, or whatever

For many, many years, I've spent this day missing someone. Someone very specific. I'd mope about and write letters I never intended to send, bemoaning the absence of this person in my adult life and apologizing for things that, when I look back on having done them, can really only be attributed to a capricious youth.

In the last year, however, and more recently in the last couple of weeks, I have taken a much more complete look at my life and particularly at the person I've become. And I've said it before and will likely say it again, I'm pretty damn proud of the person I am today, given the challenges I've had in my life. I may not have accomplished everything in life that I set out to do (hell, I don't ever really remember setting out to accomplish anything!), but I'm happy that the choices I went and made in the effed-up Choose Your Own Adventure novel that is my life have brought me to this point.

Let me tell you, it's not been a cakewalk. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life. I've made a lot of mistakes. But believe me...I am Karma's favorite bitch, and I'd like to think I've more than paid for them. I've forgiven a lot of people and swallowed a lot of pride and pushed aside a lot of things that have hurt me, and this is something that has never been easy for me; I struggle with it constantly, even today when I have a beautiful family and am married to an amazing man whom I love with all my heart. And he has spent nearly two and a half years paying for other people's mistakes.

Now, don't get me wrong...this is rarely an overnight process. It takes a lot for me to forgive and even more for me to forget. But I can't very well be proud of the person I am today without having come to terms with all the experiences I've had throughout my life, good and bad. I am a product of everything that has happened to me. And I'd like to think that, with one, maybe two, exceptions, there are enough great memories of just about any person from my past to overshadow the bad ones. And I wouldn't be who I am without them.

So, instead of reiterating my biannual whining about how sad I am over missing this person and how sorry I am for all the things that went wrong and how much I totally understand, I will instead say this: Oh well. I don't miss you anymore, because I finally realized that you don't really exist. I am sorry for all the things that went wrong, but I'm not the only one who had made mistakes. And no, I don't understand, because I think there are way better things to hang on to. And if you don't, it sucks to be you.

In future, I will instead fill my silly little blogs on this day with bright blessings and wishes for a happy solstice, and a look forward to a bright and happy future with the people I have chosen to surround myself with. So there.


Sunday, December 6, 2009

My what?

Should I tell him I'm not?

I swear to god, when I first read this, I thought it said "rice."

How is this guy still single???

This is half the reason I don't bother with Myspace anymore. It's like a bar full of slobbering retards with no brains and fewer manners.

That said, I do have a handful of really good friends who I met there. Obviously, this is not how they got in.

Repost: A Tuesday Top 5 in Vehement Defense of the Wild Boys

Originally posted on my Myspace blog...thought I'd post this in response to the DD conversation taking place after I posted a bit of New Religion lyrics. Enjoy!

Current mood:
For practically my whole life, I've gotten all kinds of crap for being a Duran Duran fan. And more often than not, from people who have pegged them as a shallow, pretty-boy pop band with no real talent or creativity, based on no more exposure to them than hearing "The Reflex" or "Wild Boys" on the radio (two of their worst songs, IMHO).
(And, you know, people said the same things about the Beatles in the early sixties...)
But come ON--you've got to give the Fab 5 just a little more credit than that. How many of their contemporaries from the early to mid-80's have been consistently touring and making new records for this whole time? I mean without the Jesus complex? (You know who you are...)
Duran Duran has continued to make records that have been critically panned and have never seen the back side of a pop chart, simply because they want to make them and the fans like them. They've toured huge arenas and very small venues, and they never seem to have a problem selling out either one.
And more than that, to people who listen with an open mind and a good attitude, they have proven to be very talented, diverse musicians who, it is obvious, just love to put on a good show. Sure, they've had their off moments (911 really was a joke when they were finished with it...), but for every cover of "Fame," there's a song like the one on this week's list thatmore than makes up for it.
So, for all of you out there who like to razz me about being a Duranie, and especially for all my friends who are ALSO Duranies, I give you:
Top 5 Kick-Ass Duran Duran Songs the Rest of You Have Never Heard:
(in no particular order, except for #1, because it's my all-time fave)

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones
5. "Do You Believe in Shame?" from Big Thing, 1988

4. "Big Bang Generation" from Medazzaland, 1997 (I can't find this to add to my playlist, but you can hear a great live version here.)

3. "Playing With Uranium" from Pop Trash, 2000

2. "Out of My Mind" also from Medazzaland, 1997

1. "New Religion" from Rio, 1981

You know you're just afraid to admit you like 'em.....tell me your favorite DD song, even if you're not a fan....unless you're too afraid.

HP of the T of J

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Is this starting to sound familiar?

Ahhh, so here we are, on...what?...my 5th blog, at least?

This would be where I post my usual blather about how this is something I really need to do and how I promise I'll be better at keeping up with it this time.

But, to do so would merely serve to set myself up for failure yet again, so I am not going to start that way this time.

This time, the only promise I will make is that these writings will be random, sporadic, and generally self-serving, at best.

Consider yourself warned,